The Retarded Cow Diaries (the day I woke up dead!)

My new feature, in fact the only one on this blog will be "the retarded cow diaries" I know such a clever title took me hours to think of. Just to keep you going I bring you this story.


The Day I woke up dead!

I know your're already thinking WTF?? Or maybe not! This is the retarded old cow we are talking about! One day last week the retarded old cow informed us that she woke up and had stopped breathing. She also went on to say she couldn't start breathing now that she had stopped! How her brain knew she wasn't breathing I have no idea. She then went on to say she must have thought she wasn't breathing even though she was, are you following so far??

The bottom line is if she stopped breathing she would not have been in work telling us this lovely story! Oh and if you want her helpful advise if you stop breathing even though you really are, go and see a doctor! Just a thought, how long does it take to see a doctor if you stop breathing?? Do you ring up and say: please can I have an appointment today as I've stopped breathing?? Please if you're a doctor can I have your professional opinion?